Yajnyawalkya :chapter56

Yajnyawalkya was on his way back to his cottag from Janaka's palace when he noticed Gargi walking briskly towards his cottage. He paced up hurriedly and caught up with her.

"Gargi!" He said with a touch of surprise. Gargi stopped and said, "I am leaving Videha. I thought i must meet you before I go."

Yajnyawalkya accompanied her silently to the cottage. As they entered, Artabhaga reeated in surprise to make way for Gargi, and then quietly stepped out of the cottage. It was a warm evening. Seeing Gargis reluctance to stay unside, Yajnyawalkya beckoned her to sit down in the courtyard. No words were spoken between them. The awareness of estrangement was more painful to Gargi than to Yajnyawalkya.

Her loneliness touched him. He had a strong impulse to get up and hold her to his heart. They looked at each other at the same time. Gargi lowered her eyes. Without looking at Yajnyawalkya, she said, "I am sorry; I did not make a good disciple."

Yajnyawalkya replied calmly, "You were not meant to be a disciple."
"Or were you not meant to be my mentor?" asked Gargi.
"I was a seeker," said Yajnyawalkya.
"Did I distract you from the path you were seeking?" Gargi asked.

For a moment, Yajnyawalkya thought Gargi was aiming at eliciting a habitual response to gratify her egoistic vanity and expected him to say,  " Yes!"

But one look at her convinced him that there wa sno time on their hands to waste on false gestures. It was time for truth.

He said, "No; you have no power to distract me!"

Gargi was looking at his feet quietly as she head him. She longed to have a look at him as he said this, but somehow, there was no need for it. She was absorbing all of him.

"I know," she added , "I knew that I had no power over you. Perhaps that was the reason why I wanted to follow you wherever your chosen path was going to lead you," said gargi.

"Gargi, don't delude yourself into thinking you could surrender your intellect to become a follower," said Yajnyawalkya.

Gargi said, "I had long tormented myself trusting my intellect until we met. Can't you realize that I have an equal right to become a seeker?"

"Precisely," said Yajnyawalkya. Gargi looked at him to comprehend his meaning. Yajnyawalkya continued, "It is precisely for that reason that you cannot become a follower."

"Then what brought me to you?" asked Gargi.
"Seeking!" said Yajnyawalkya simply.Gargi remained dumb. She was agonized to see no trace of anguish in Yajnyawalkya.
"I wish I knew what I was seeking!" Gargi whispered softly. Yajnyawalkya turned away from her. He steeled himself aginst an overwheming desire to look into her eyes and tell he, "You were seeking Yajnyawalkya!"

Gargi waited anxiously for him to tun and face her. When she knew that he would not, she got up and stood before him.

"Tell me where do we go from here?" she aked. Yajnyawalkya looked at her. His breath stopped. Once upon a time all his harshness and enforcd apathy towards Gargi had meltd into love and desire Now he had to stop that love from breaking him down.

He made a determined effort to collect himself. "Yajnyawalkya is not your destiny, Gargi," he said at last.

Once again a surge of fury swept over Gagi. She did not want to hear from Yajnyawalkya that which she knew all along, but could not accept. She looked into his eyes as she said, "I should know that our paths diverge now."
"Yes," said Yajnyawalkya calmly.
"May I know in what direction your path lies now?" asked Gargi.
"Inwards!" Yajnyawalkya said.
"Alone?" asked Gargi.
"One is always alone," said Yajnyawalkya.
"Then our life together? Wee you alone then too?" asked Gargi. 
Yajnyawalkya was silent.
"Why did you not seek me?" asked Gargi.
I sought my own self in you.", said Yajnyawalkya.
"Did you find that self?"

To be continued