Yajnyawalkya Chapter 76 : The End

.................."My inner space was always empty because I refused to put myself in it. To me, Yajnyawalkya was emptiness to be filled in by everyone whom I met."

Maitreyi said, "If that is what you call your knowledge of your Self, I cannot take it. Emptiness scares me; aloneness scares me. My own solitary self, occupying empty space scares me, and so does death; because it takes me away from you. Help me transcend fear; make me immortal; make me ever awake. I need you in order to realize my immortality because Maitreyi will cease to be if she loses awareness of Yajnyawalkya. Maitreyi will live in Yajnyawalkya because Yajnyawalkya 'is'.    Yajnyawalkya cannot die, because he is ever there, born and reborn in everyone as the knowledge of the Self."
Yajnyawalkya said, "Yajnyawalkya will need Maitreyi, so that the world may know, there was Yajnyawalkya who was known to Maitreyi, and together they had created a universe. Truth: the absolute and the ultimate : is just that--simple as that, but true to you and me."
And with these words Yajnyawalkya moved ahead on the path to become a sanyasi : one who makes the final gesture of renuniation.
Yajnyawalkya is not eternity.
Yajnyawalkya is the name of the quest for eternity. Maitreyi is the script of that quest. From Upanishad to the next Upanishad in time, the script went down, and so did the quest.
The quest did not die, because unknown to her, every Maitreyi carries the knowledge of deathlessness, the nectar of life within her.

THE END
  

Yajnyawalkya chapter 76 contd.

Maitreyi fought back her tears resolutely and said, "You too, know it in your heart that your freedom cannot be bartered for pieces of gold nor can be mine. It grieves me to see that you expect me to be content and stop at the threshold of life. While you set out on the path of freedom, why do you expect me to gloat in wealth, live for it, and end in it?"
She was talking exasperatedly, with a fury that was never seen her before. Yajnyawalkya was called upon to do justice. In that self-same moment, he experienced the agitation of the woman who was wronged, and the penitence of the man who had caused the wrong. She was asking Yajnyawalkya to supersede the wrongdoer and dispense justice.
There was silence. It was not the silence that unites souls in love; it was the silence that divides one's own Self. It was the silence that does not let you move or touch the other.
The anguish of her wounded pride had leapt up like a sacrificial fire and was demanding its oblation. It was the ever recurring reminder to Man that he cannot meet Brahma : the Absolute and the Ultimate, before he embraces Woman, and let the fire in her annihilate him.
Maitreyi's voice dived low after that brief respite. Her fury subsided; she spoke, trying to get back her certitude. She did not know who was speaking, what, and to whom.
"I am insatiable, Yajnyawalkya, your wife is insatiable. She is thirsty. You may deluge her with wealth; she cannot be quenched. Do not ask her what she wants. She knows not what she wants. Her demands are ancient, as ancient as this earth. You were afraid to explore her land, afraid that the earth would take all of you unto herself. You are standing before me today, thinking that you have fulfilled yourself. You do not need to declare to the world how true you are. You have spurned the wealth which the world offered to you. Now that you have delivered your burden at my feet, you think you are free to walk out on me and the world, covered in ashes and absorbed in yourself.! I am not a devotee asking her God for grace. I am your very own Self, your incomplete Self, asking you to give her what she lacks: she wants her share in your knowledge of yourself. She knows not her Self without you." 
To be contd.

Yajnyawalkya Chapter 75 contd.

She spoke in a voice that sounded feeble, but Yajnyawalkya understood the will that inspired it. he remembered that evening when years ago, she had stood at the threshold. The slanting rays of the sun had fallen on her face just as they did now. The sun had touched her hair with a hue of gold then; now there were sreaks of silver in it.
Her restraint and resolve were not unknown to him. When he faltered, she woul know it in her heart. And wherever they were, fa or near, she would see the crossroads ahead of him. People thought of him as a blasting oracle. She was a silent seer. The man and the husband in him had always rebelled against her quiet inwardnes. He understood what agony he had subjected her to in the past. She had never desired to conquer him. She knew the egoist in him. And he knew that she she knew him, but would not let him know what she knew.
He was quiet for some time, absorbing her words, and letting them grow in his mind. Then he spoke in a voice that did not sound his own : "There is another aspect to our meeting. Now that you know my mind and I know yours, let me address my material responsibilities to both of you. I propose to distribute my assets equally between both of you."
Both of them looked at him in disbelief and dismay. They stared at him in silence. Anger was writ large on Katyayani's face. They did not speak. There was no greater injustice he could do to them than making this declaration. The moment they looked at him he realized what his words had done.
He said, "I want you to live together without a discord. That was why I thought of taking this step. "
Katyani got up, as if to go, and said ruefully, "How sad to know that our peace and harmony depends on the knowledge that Maitreyi does not own mor than I do! Years of living in Videha have distanced you from us to this extent!"
Yajnyawalkya was struck dumb. Before he or Katyayani could realize, Maitreyi had gathered herself up, and was gone in a fraction of a moment.

Chapter 75 contd.

With this she hugged Maitreyi lightly, and with a gentle pressure, brought her forward, a little closer in view of herself and Yajnyawalkya.
Yajnyawalkya said, "Forgive me, if I gave you a feeling that I am taking you for granted. I want to know if I have your permission to move on. "
Katyayani looked at Maitreyi and Maitreyi looked at Yajnyawalkya. Maitreyi said, "Katyayani has already spoken her mind, and I have always stood by your freedom to choose. You are free to go ahead on the path you have chosen."
Yajnyawalkya knew, she meant what she said. He said, "This is not severance of my links with you. Think of it as expansion of life. I have moved out of the confinement of the mind which I experienced in Videha : a world of dogma and intolerance. I am back here to a world of inspiration and God. I am not abandoning what I have come back to. In fact I want to see what I can do to expand this wold. I have energy, intellect; and I have discovered the power of selfless love. I will use it to transform lives. "
He turned to Maitreyi and said, "You, Katyayani and I, along with Artabhaga, will work in unison. I will discover fresh, young minds and send them to this hermitage to learn from you, and you will make this world grow. I am not asking for your consent to let me go away from here, but to let me come back to it time and again with greater insight and strength. One day I myself will come back to you as your disciple."
Maitreyi did not appear convinced. She understood the magnitude and the sanctity of his vision, but did not trust her own ability to participate in it. She sat there with her eyes closed; fear and fatigue did not lt her speak.
Katyayani looked anxiously at Yajnyawalkya and said, "Don't you think you are acting too soon and with too little thought?" Yajnyawalkya said,"No, I have been giving  it a thought ever since you came to and departed from Videha."
Katyayani said, "But there is very little time left for us to think."
Maitreyi opened her eyes and spoke emphatically, "Years ago, necessity led you to Videha. You have returned a free man now, free to make your choice with knowledge, and not ruled by need. I want you to realize this freedom for the greater good of all of us. When you departed for Videha, I had come to bid you farewell at the threshold of this very sanctum. I wanted to release you then. This time, I am not sending you off to some unknown destination. We are with you in whatever you think and do now. "

Chapter 75

I am coming to the end of this novel, and gradually, with each chapter penned and kept aside, I am losing a part of my soul. I would have stopped posting a month back, looking at the silence in this wilderness. But some foolishness led me on. After this post, I am not sure if I shall be posting till the end.

Chapter 75.

Katyayani had been watching Maitreyi since morning. She had come to know of Yajnyawalkya's decision through the disciples after their meeting with Yajnyawalkya was over. Maitreyi had been away the whole evening and the night. Katyayani caught sight of her only in the morning. She could not make out if Maitreyi knew about Yajnyawalkya's decision. She watched Maitreyi for a sign of unrest. Maitreyi looked unperturbed. She moved about as if in a trance.
Katyayani did not have the courage to break the prohibitive silence. But at mid-day, Maitreyi herselfsought Katyayani's company. When they were together, Maitreyi stole a glance at her and caught her eye. There was a silent recognition of the fact that they both knew what was happening. They sat in silence for a while, and then Maitreyi got up abruptly and went away on some pretext.
Katyayani sat alone. Left to herserrlf, she did not know what was going on in her own mind. Her son looked at her as he passed by. He too had become aware of his father's decision. But somehow, it seemed to him a natural event. It seemed a natural and indubitable part of his father's personality which he had accepted way back. Besides, there was a simple certainty in his mind that his father belonged to him wherever he might go and stay : in the hermitage, or away from it. So he played with him in the morning as usual.Yajnyawalkya had patted him on the back. He stroked his head playfullyhappy to find that they were at ease with each other.
But somehow, the boy felt disinclined to talk to Katyayani. Since he was not old enough  to analyze his own feelings, he acted more on his natural instinct which told him to stay away from Katyayani in those moments.
Katyayani was forlorn to see her son and Maitreyi reluctant to sit by her side when she needed them. She wanted to talk to them both and let them know that she was not in need of support; she wanted to be with them; that was all.

To be contd.

Chapter 73 contd

Yajnyawalkya said, "Love is the underlying principle of life. The very light within you, which is lost and forgotten, is 'love'. There is discord, violence and fear because we have lost that light. There is restlessness because we know we must get it back, and restlessness is the sign of hope. Do not confuse that restlessness with fear."
One of them got up and said,"Does the light of Gayatri help me conquer fear?"
Yajnyawalkya smiled. A tide of scepticism was surrounding him all sides. But unlike the conference held in Videha long ago, this was the scepticism of seekers. Yajnyawalkyahad conquered his irascible temper over time. His cynicism had vanished long back. He turned to the seeker and said, "Yes, conquest of fear is the first step you take in the direction of that light. Try to understand the origin of fear. Fear overtakes you when your superior faculties fail; when you are not in control of your life. When does this happen? It happens under fatigue. Fatigue clouds the light which is your breath and vitality. So never let that vitality  be out of sight. Gayatri, the spiritual energy that dwells within you, reaches out from you to touch the light that pervades Akasha and comes back to you with floods of light and energy. When the universe is ever ready, nay, eager to enrich you, accept the bounty without agitation. Embrace life in all its aspects. Be awae that happiness and sorrow are aspects of life, not the goal of it. Your mind adopts happiness and rejects sorrow. That, which you reject, becomes th root of fear. Gayatri takes you beyond the antithesis of happiness and sorow; it is light, pure, simple, and inexhaustible."
Yajnyawalkya stopped, but no one realized that he had stopped speaking.. Their minds were swaying on a tide of self-awareness that surged up from the gross world of the body to leap up and catch a glimpse of the subtle timeless world of spirit.
A sacrificial fire had been initiated on the ground of earth, but reached the realm of the spirit. The offering came from the seven realms of Brahma. Divinity guarded the sacrificial fire. Earth was the ground of the altar, mountains bosom. Its hands spread in four quarters. Divine wrath blazed in the embers of the karma of the humans, and the inaccessible truth of Brahma leapt up momentarily like a tongue of fire to speak its word.
So long as the Brahma guards this sacrificial fire with its eyes, there is no extinction for the human spirit and the spirit of all life.. 

Chapter 73 contd, after "Ask and you will get it"

They were stunned. Then his disciple said, "It is as if the unseen principle of the universe " Brahma' has become manifest all of a sudden and is asking us to recognize who he is! Yes, we are really unprepared for this moment. You have given us no time and if we let it pass by, you have left us with no choice but to regret.!"
Artabhaga sensed the agitation that rocked their minds. He got up and came forward.
"Calm down," he said, "Moments do not pass by, nor do they visit us for no reason. Live in them as if they are eternity and eternity will live with you. But calm down first. Do not feel deprived. There is a bond of love between you and your Master. You are ready to receive and that is all that is required for a revelation. Open your hearts and even the silence of your Master will speak to you."
They were not ready for any reasoning. How could they reconcile to this knowledge? That which they considered as belonging to them was being taken away before they could call it their own!
Artabhaga spoke again : "A Master does not speak unless you have the quest. Look into your hearts and search."
A disciple rose and said,"Our Master has been in the company of learned scholars. We gather that Videha is a seat of learning where sages live and they have knowledge of the ultimate reality : Brahma! May our Master give us an insight into that 'Reality'?"
All eyes turned to Yajnyawalkya. He looked all around and said, "My beloved pupils, try to understand life on this earth before taking a leap in the direction of the unknown and the unknowable. Try to understand what makes us happy and what makes us unhappy. Understand the thin line that separates joy from pain, gain from loss, love from hatred, and self from the non-self."
His pupils were not satisfied. Why was their Master denying them the greatest truth of life? One of them asked, "please tell us what rites, rituals, mantras or sacrifice will lead us to the knowledge of Brahma."
Yajnyawalkya said, "Remove these blind-folds from your eyes. They will lead you nowhere. It is like venturing into the ocean on board a leaky ship. You will only drown yourself faster than ever. "
There was a stern silence on the part of Yajnyawalkya after this, making it difficult for the pupils to elicit anything out of it. A disciple got up with courage and asked, "You have been teaching us to invoke the inner light : the light of the deity Gayatri. Is Gayatri the same as Brahma which has been sought after by sages?"
Yajnyawalkya said, "No, Gayatri is not Brahma. Gayatri is the grand chariot which helps you traverse the path of this life on earth. Gayatri mantra enables you to unveil the light within you. Live your life constantly in that light. That light is the very power of Gayatri. It resides within you but you know it not."
Someone asked, "Are we born with that light or do we acquire it by effort?"
Yajnyawalkya said, "We are all born with it; and still we have to put in an effort to retrieve it, because we have lost it in the process of living."
Why do we lose it?" asked the pupil.
"Because our life on this earth makes demands on the other faculties which we call the mind, intellect, ego and memory. We develop a trust in them and come to believe that we cannot understand this phenomenal world without their aid. Gradually we become one with them. We do not see ourselves as distinct from them. We are lost to that light in this process which we call 'living' "
"If we are blessed with the faculty of memory, why are we lost to that light?"
Yajnyawalkya said, "The memory which loses sight of that light is the functional memory, which is an instrument of the mind connecting us with the space and time that we can measure and imagine. It helps us to communicate, speak, understand, synthesize and analyze. But it has limitations. Its function serves the body and the mind but does not enable us to reach that light. "
"How do we reach it then?" asked the pupil. "Can the incantation of Gayatri mantra help us do it? Is it enough to recite the Gayatri mantra?'
Yajnyawalkya said, "The incantation aids the physical memory. It helps you to be mindful, which is the primary need. But though necessary, recitation alone is not sufficient. Gayatri is the vibration of the life within. It unites you with everything that vibrates in the universe, outside of your body. Open your mind, body and heart to the power of the energy that the universe is transmitting to you ceaselessly. Gayatri opens up the heart, restores energy, heals and elevates".
The pupil who was asking questions was an energetic youth with the spark of life in his eyes. He smiled contentedly and said, "This is love; is it not?"
Another disciple who seemed disenchanted with love, got up in an agitated state of mind and exclaimed, "If that was so, this world would be full of self-realized sages. There would be no violence, no discord, no fear."

To be contd.


 

Chapter 73

Yajnyawalkya was surrounded by disciples and the inhabitants of the hermitage. He had sent for them, and they were wondering why! He looked around at the congregation. His eyes scanned every eager face and his ears caught every slight tremor in their hearts. He allowed a brief pause for silence and took a deep breath. He declared in a voice that was clear and steady, "My beloved disciples, I want to declare that I wish to renounce my hold on the hermitage and propose to leave. I propose to leave you in the care of Artabhaga, Maitreyi and Katyayani."
There was a commotion followed by silence. Someone had to get up and speak. Everybody looked in the direction of Artabhaga. He was sitting at the far end, his eyes fixed on the ground beneath his feet. They realised that both Artabhaga and Yajnyawalkya were on the other side of the fence, segregated from them by an unspoken covenant which was beyond their comprehension.
Somehow, as they sensed that Artabhaga was impervious to their appeal, one of them got up to address Yajnyawalkya. He moved forward from the congregation and reached Yajnyawalkya.
He spoke, "With salutation to our revered Master, I beseech, may we know if something has gone amiss. We are doing our best to prove worthy of our beloved Master; yet if we have fallen short of our Master's expectations, may we have a chance to rectify our mistake, and rise up to our Master's satisfaction?"
Yajnyawalkya spoke, "My dear ones, you must not feel at fault. You must not feel sad either. In no way does my decision reflect on your conduct. But it is vitally important, nay, essential for me to move on from here to the next phase of my life."
The congregation was speechless for some time. Then one of them asked, "But does have to come so soon and so unexpectedly?"
Yajnyawalkya smiled and said, "Everything moves on; it has to. Nothing happens without a warning. It is just that we don't listen, or even when we do, we resist it, because we resist change. "
His disciples looked at each other in dismay, clearly dissatisfied with the evasive answer. A raw feeling of injustice seethed in their mind. and slowly turned into an undefined anger. Yet another disciple stood up to take command over the situation. He had to swallow the turbulence in his mind before he could speak. He said, "I beg to speak on behalf of all of us. May our Master forgive me if I cross my limit. We have been waiting to hear you. You cannot leave us before you enlighten us. It is our privilege. And unfortunately it is being held back from us for no fault of ours."
Yajnyawalkya said, "No, my dear ones. Today I am here for all of you. All that I could call mine  belongs to you now. Ask, and you will get it."

To be contd. 

Chapter 72

Katyayani was happy and fulfilled to feel peace and harmony during the days that followed. Maitreyi was at peace.
On a sunny afternoon when she was alone with Yajnyawalkya, Katyayani noticed that he was engrossed in something that was waiting to come out. She asked him plainly, "Are you worried over something?"
"No", said he, without declaring what was on his mind. Katyayani laughed.
"you are not a soul of this earth. But now that you have chosen to be born here like all of us, be with us and share our worries," she said.
Yajnyawalkya responded to her laughter, and said,"I am here to share your happiness and relieve you of your worries."
Kayayani said,"You revere this earth; sometimes I feel persons like you live their life like a penance for the irreverence they have committed by being born to earth and having to trample upon her bosom."
"I am in no way different from others, Katyayani, except that I can articulate my thoughts in language. A lot of the substance of our thought is lost in trying to harness thoughts to language, just as a lot of our energy is lost in harnessing ourselves to the claims of the world. You say that persons like me  undergo penance for having been born to earth. Life is a penance,Katyayani, not just for people like me but for all of us."
Katyayani said, "Why does life have to be a penance?"
Yajnyawalkya said, "Because every experience, happy or sad, which is stored in our soul, is a penance; and a penance is meant to replace experience with knowledge. Of course, we have a choice to stay clean pf experiences, because thy teach us through pain. In refusing to acknowledge the truth that even happiness produces pain, we are running away from the penance, and running away from knowledge. Most of us believe that happiness can be acquired and pain can be circumvented with the effort of will. Or, some of us who believe that there is something transcendent that oversees our happiness and pain, go ahead and propitiate that power to escape pain."
Katyayani said, "Are you able to escape pain?"
Yajnyawalkya said, "No, neither I nor you can escape pain; however, we may refuse to learn from it."
Katyayani was alarmed by this sudden turn in the conversation. She looked at him introspectively and asked, "Did you learn from our pain?"
Yajnyawalkya said, "Yes!"
Katyayani said reproachfully, "Pray, what did you learn ?"
Yajnyawalkya said with a mild mockery, "That you refuse to learn from your pain."
Katyayani shot back, "You inflicted pain on us!"
Yajnyawalkya said, "Pain is pain; it could have come to you from any source; if not from me, then from some other source! That's the first principle which you refuse to see. The point of learning is : do you rise above pain, or let it set you back?"
Katyayani was speechless. Yajnyawalkya said, "I don't intend to be cruel. For a moment, do not think of me as your husband who had held back from you what you considered to be your rightful happiness. Think of me as only an invisible channel of voice."
Katyayani made no answer.
Yajnyawalkya said, "I know, you were able to rise above pain! I know, that you did learn. In that process, I : Yajnyawalkya became irrelevant to you as your husband. It was pain that was preponderant over you, and you won over that pain by refusing to acknowledge me, and went ahead on your own resources."
Katyayani laughed wholeheartedly, and said, "Indeed? And must we be full of gratitude to our revered husband for causing us to learn the hard way?"
Yajnyawalkya watched her laughter with fascination, drew her close, and kissed her on the brow, and said, "No, you must be grateful to your invincible spirit, which is always with you!"
Katyayani asked, "What is it that will endure: this happiness which we experience now, or will it turn into pain again?"
Yajnyawalkya said, "This happiness will endure, because it does not depend on objects and their acquisition. it has found a place inside you. "